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Core Principles and Practices for Radiant Living
- Lisa Lanzetta
- Jun 8, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Aug 14, 2024
Let’s explore the transformative power of three guiding principles—Non-Judgment, Non-Attachment, and Non-Engagement—and the actionable practices that bring these principles to life.
These practices are essential for rediscovering your true essence, creating a life filled with harmony and beauty, and, most importantly, ending suffering
The Principle and Practice of Non-Judgment
Non-Judgment is a guiding principle that encourages a mindset of openness and discernment rather than defaulting to automatic judgments of right or wrong, good or bad.
This principle is particularly powerful for people in recovery, as it fosters a compassionate and understanding approach to oneself and others.
Awareness of Inner Dialogue
Start by paying attention to your inner dialogue. Notice how often you judge situations, people, and even yourself. Our minds are conditioned to quickly classify everything we encounter, but this can limit our understanding and create unnecessary stress. Instead of rushing to judgment, take a step back and simply observe.
Discernment Over Judgment
Rather than labeling things as good or bad, try to discern the underlying truth. Discernment involves seeing things as they are, without the emotional charge that judgment carries. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of labeling them as rude or inconsiderate, acknowledge the fact that they did so and consider possible reasons without attaching a negative label.
Embracing Curiosity
Cultivate a sense of curiosity about the world around you. Approach situations and people with an open mind, seeking to understand rather than judge. This shift in perspective can transform your interactions and lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Practical Steps to Practice Non-Judgment
1. Pause and Reflect: When you notice yourself making a judgment, pause and reflect on the source of that judgment. Is it based on fact or assumption?
2. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in others' shoes. Try to understand their perspective and the reasons behind their actions.
3. Stay Present: Focus on the present moment without bringing in past experiences or future worries that could influence your judgment.
4. Meditation: Engage in mindfulness or meditation practices to cultivate a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and feelings.
5. Journaling: Write down your judgments and explore the underlying beliefs and assumptions behind them. Reflect on how you can shift your perspective.
6. Taking It to Ceremony: Always my favorite!
Create a sacred space where you can sit quietly and reflect on your judgments. Write down any judgments you’ve noticed throughout the week on small pieces of paper. In your ceremony, burn these papers as a symbolic release of these judgments, allowing the smoke to carry them away. As you do this, set an intention to cultivate more compassion and understanding in your heart.
By practicing non-judgment, you open yourself to a more compassionate and expansive way of being, allowing for greater peace and understanding in your recovery journey.
The Principle and Practice of Non-Attachment
Non-Attachment is a guiding principle that encourages letting go of the labels and roles we often cling to so tightly. These labels and roles can become so intertwined with our identity that they limit our ability to grow and change.
In recovery, non-attachment is crucial for letting go of past identities and embracing a new, healthier self.
Recognizing Labels and Roles
Ask yourself if these identities serve you or if they confine you. For example, you might identify strongly as a "perfectionist," but does this label bring you joy and fulfillment, or does it cause stress and anxiety? By questioning these labels, you can begin to see them for what they are: temporary and changeable aspects of your life, not the essence of who you are.
Embracing Change
Life is constantly changing, and clinging to fixed identities can lead to suffering when life inevitably shifts. Embrace the idea that all aspects of life are transient. This doesn't mean you shouldn't care about your roles and responsibilities, but rather that you shouldn't be so attached to them that you feel lost without them. Embracing change allows you to flow with life more easily, reducing resistance and enhancing your sense of freedom.
Letting Go of Outcomes
Non-attachment also involves letting go of the need to control outcomes. Often, we become attached to specific results or expectations, which can lead to disappointment and frustration when things don't go as planned. Instead, focus on the process and the journey. Trust that things will unfold as they are meant to, and be open to unexpected opportunities and outcomes.
Practical Steps to Practice Non-Attachment
1. Mindful Awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to notice when you're becoming overly attached to a role or outcome. Practice mindfulness to stay present and aware.
2. Question Your Beliefs: Challenge the beliefs that reinforce your attachments. Ask yourself if they are truly serving you or holding you back.
3. Embrace Impermanence: Remind yourself that everything in life is temporary. Embrace the natural flow of change and growth.
4. Cultivate Gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Gratitude can shift your perspective and reduce attachment to specific outcomes.
5. Engage in Detachment Practices: Activities like meditation, journaling, and spending time in nature can help you cultivate a sense of detachment and inner peace.
6. Taking It to Ceremony: My personal favorite!
Set up an altar with objects that represent roles and identities you wish to release. During your ceremony, hold each object and speak aloud about its significance and why you are ready to let it go. Gently place the object in a bowl of water, symbolizing the washing away of attachments. Conclude by lighting a candle, representing the new space created for growth and freedom.
By practicing non-attachment, you can find freedom from the limitations imposed by rigid identities and expectations.
This practice is especially beneficial in recovery, as it helps you release past burdens and open up to new possibilities.
The Principle and Practice of Non-Engagement
Non-Engagement is a guiding principle that encourages recognizing and avoiding the distractions and dramas that pull you off course.
It involves staying centered and true to your path, rather than getting entangled in unnecessary conflicts and emotional turmoil.
For those in recovery, non-engagement is vital for maintaining focus and avoiding relapse triggers.
Identifying Distractions
Begin by identifying the people, places, and things that tend to distract you. These distractions often come in the form of drama, whether it’s someone else's or your own. Notice when you’re tempted to engage in arguments, gossip, or situations that drain your energy.
Staying Centered
Staying centered means maintaining your focus and inner peace, even in the midst of chaos. When you feel yourself being pulled into drama, take a moment to breathe and ground yourself. Remember that you have the power to choose where you direct your energy and attention.
Setting Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential for practicing non-engagement. Clearly define what you will and will not tolerate in your interactions with others. Communicate your boundaries respectfully and firmly, and don’t be afraid to enforce them. This protects your energy and maintains your focus on what truly matters.
Course Correcting
When you find yourself engaged in drama or distractions, gently course correct. Ask yourself, “Is this serving my highest good?” and “Am I playing an old, worn-out role?” By bringing awareness to these patterns, you can step out of the triangle of disempowerment, where roles like bully, victim, and enabler often play out.
Practical Steps to Practice Non-Engagement
1. Mindful Awareness: Pay attention to what pulls you off course. Notice the triggers and patterns that lead you to engage in drama.
2. Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or spending time in nature to stay centered.
3. Boundary Setting: Establish and communicate clear boundaries. Know your limits and stick to them.
4. Reflective Inquiry: Regularly ask yourself reflective questions to stay aligned with your values and goals.
5. Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you do get pulled into drama. Recognize it, forgive yourself, and choose to refocus.
6. Taking It to Ceremony: my personal favorite!
Create a circle of stones or flowers to represent boundaries. Inside the circle, place items that symbolize your peace and focus. During the ceremony, meditate on the distractions and dramas that pull you away from your center. Visualize yourself stepping out of these entanglements and into the circle of peace. Affirm your boundaries and commitment to staying true to your path by placing a hand over your heart and speaking your intention aloud.
By practicing non-engagement, you can maintain your energy and focus on your true path. This practice is particularly powerful for those in recovery, helping to avoid relapse triggers and maintain a clear, focused mind.
The Bonus Practice: Nature
Spending time in nature every day works wonders. It helps us feel more like our true selves and naturally brings us back into balance.
Nature has a magical effect on our well-being, especially for those in recovery. It restores us to our natural essence and provides a sense of peace and grounding.
Go hug a tree
Trees are powerful symbols of strength and stability. When you hug a tree, you can feel its grounding energy and connect deeply with nature. Take a moment to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and feel the tree's energy merging with yours. This simple act can bring immense peace and a sense of rootedness.
Walk barefoot on the beach
Walking barefoot on the sand allows you to directly connect with the earth. The sensation of sand between your toes and the rhythm of the waves can be incredibly soothing. This practice, often called "earthing," helps to ground your energy and release stress, bringing you back to a state of natural balance.
Swim in a lake
Immersing yourself in natural water sources like lakes can be deeply rejuvenating. The cool, refreshing water cleanses your body and spirit, washing away tension and negativity. Swimming in a lake allows you to connect with the fluid, ever-changing nature of water, promoting a sense of freedom and renewal.
Visit your local park
Remember how fun it was to lie on the grass and watch the clouds drift by as a kid? Reconnect with that childlike wonder by visiting your local park. Lay out a blanket, lie down, and let your imagination soar as you watch the clouds. This practice encourages relaxation and mindfulness, allowing you to appreciate the simple, beautiful moments in life.
Star gaze
At night, look up at the stars. Staring at the vast expanse of the night sky helps to remind you that you are never alone. The stars have been guiding and inspiring humans for millennia. Allow their light to fill you with a sense of wonder and connection to the greater universe. This practice can be deeply calming and expansive, providing perspective and peace.
Forest bathe
Forest bathing, or "Shinrin-yoku," is a practice that involves immersing yourself in the atmosphere of the forest. Walk slowly through the woods, breathe in the fresh air, and take in the sights, sounds, and smells of the forest. This practice has been shown to reduce stress, boost mood, and enhance overall well-being. Let the forest's natural beauty and tranquility envelop you, bringing a profound sense of calm and rejuvenation.
Embodied Wisdom
When you continue to practice Non-Judgment, Non-Attachment, and Non-Engagement, you're on the road to ending suffering.
These practices layer new neural networks in your brain, allowing you to live a whole new story. Embrace these Core Principles and Practices and watch as your life transforms into a beautiful, harmonious dance.